i long for you but you’re gone

a distant memory but it feels like just yesterday you were here

your lips pressed against mine

your eyes staring into mine in admiration

my head on your chest

laying in a peaceful quiet

as i listen to your heart beating in your chest

an unforgettable rhythm

your smile that always made my heart skip a beat

your touch made me calm, peaceful, at home

i find my mind wondering how many times you lied to me

how many times you looked me in the face and put on your act

i wonder if you ever really loved me like i loved you

and if you did does your heart feel as empty as mine?

did you lie in a heaping ball of tear-soaked sheets for hours on end feeling a lump in your throat so dry and swollen that you thought that maybe you’d eventually suffocate

did little things like showers set you off into another wave of body shaking sobs because it reminded you of the showers we used to take together

did you wake up in the middle of the night reaching for me only to abruptly remember that i was gone

if you loved me the way i loved you

then why didn’t you fight for me

wouldn’t you be here if you loved me the way i loved you

but time has gone by

and even if you did come back

my heart can’t feel your love anymore

there’s no affection love or emotion

because it all drained out of me as tears when you left.